Journal Entries: Sunday-Monday, October 7, 2018

Sunday, October 7, 2018

(299.5) I expect this to start coming down this week.

8:39 p.m.

Getting to bed early enough to get about 7 hours of sleep and spend some time with GOD in the morning. I feel like I failed in my assignment at Krazy Cab and never had a chance at Frontline. How am I going to make any difference now? I will have consistent time for study, reading, writing, and music. Maybe this is t now be my focus. I feel detached. I can’t commit to doing sound at Bethel Valpo because I do not know what to expect. I am concerned I will just disconnect. Am I supposed to focus on studying and writing and digging in to the WORD and come back to Bethel Valpo at a later date? Or just go when I can as a regular part of the congregations? What about community group on Wednesdays?

Will I succeed and learn the lessons I need during this next season?

Monday, October 8, 2018


I start training for Family Express this morning. I should have gotten 7 hours of sleep last night, however, I ended up in bed around 9:10 p.m. to get up at 4:00 a.m. Then I awoke at 2:00 to use the restroom and had difficulty staying asleep. Today is going to be challenging enough without a lack of sleep. I’m holding off on exercising until Thursday.

I missed church service yesterday. I was supposed to do sound, but Anita wanted to do grocery shopping since I will be working Monday through Friday this week. It’s the only day we have since we usually go on Mondays.

I don’t know what to expect from today and the current course for my future. I’m trying to think about what to write. It seems I would have more, but I only feel tired and numb.

I realize that I often feel like a toddler, stumbling around, trying to stay up and walk smoothly. I should be much farther in my walk with GOD, my spiritual maturity, than this.

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