Saturday, October 6, 2018
I just finished reading chapters 13 and 14 in the Book of Enoch.
I am thinking about GOD and life and people. It seems I am not truly attached in relationship to anyone. I have no relationship with my brothers and sisters, apart from rare interaction on Facebook with John and Pam, the two youngest. I tried to start rebuilding a relationship with my mom early last year, taking her to lunch once a month to get started. She has either alzheimer’s or dementia, and I got into a place after a few months where we couldn’t afford to continue, so that went by the wayside. I haven’t seen or heard from my dad in years. Supposedly he lives somewhere in Florida. I attend a local church, sometimes, but even though it feels like home and I had a sense of belonging there, I still feel greatly disconnected and apart, and separate. I am even disconnected from my wife, sons, and grandson. All of whom I live with. I do have some connection with my grandson, I should say; much more than anyone else. Even with Abba Father I seem disconnected. I feel as though I need to become fully immersed in study, prayer, and praise and worship in order to grow in any of this. I feel as though I am flying alone and blind, and praying I do not crash. GOD help me.
This past week has been a disappointment. This coming week will begin a very positive change. Training for Family Express Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, then working days Thursday and close on Friday. Scheduled closes Wednesday and Friday the following week. Not sure how my exercise schedule is going to go, though. We shall see.
To day is Grandpa-Little Guy day. I’m thinking Fireflies. Better get the dishes done, showered, and to the bank.