Journal Entries: Thursday-Friday, October 4-5, 2018

Thursday, October 4, 2018

(298.5) It seems my weight has stabilized here. On the good side, I did workout #3 which included seven 6-count push-ups, land finished with seven consecutive regular push-ups. Doing push-ups at my current weight seems to me to be a bit of an accomplishment.

Friday, October 5, 2018

(299.5) It does no good to get upset. Just continue on. I have to overcome the desire to eat sweets. With 3 generations living in this house, the presence of sweets is a constant, especially with an almost 5 year old grandson who loves to bake and cook with his Precious Grandma Sweetie Pea. This is a matter of self-control and self-discipline. I must ask myself: what do I want more, sweets or healthy food? More food or better health and fitness? I must also consistently act upon those answers if I am to be more healthy.

Obesity is likely going to be the first health issue I deal with on my website.

I want to be one with my Abba Father as LORD Jesus is One with Him. I will have to find a schedule around my new job at Family Express to spend quiet time and study time with Abba Father. I believe that as I do so consistently I will begin walking and living in a level of victory I have heretofore not experienced in my life.

I will have to be transparent about my thoughts and struggles in this in my writing online so others may be encouraged and begin to walk in their victory also.

I need a few good friends, brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus to build relationships with; strong relationships where we can encourage one another and hold each other accountable. I don’t mean “going to church”, I mean growing as family in Christ Jesus. I think this is among the greatest of needs in society today.

11:55 p.m.

Today it is clear I have a very definite problem with laziness, gluttony, and escapism. It is as though they are three addictions, or worse, three driving spiritual forces or spirits controlling me and hindering my life.

When I write, I am not writing what I have lived with any great success, but I am writing what I believe and greatly desire to live. What balance will I need to find between my quiet time and study, and the body of believers at Bethel Valparaiso, along with family and work, and the things I have long believed I should be doing, and all the rest of the stuff and busy-ness of life? How do I balance all this? I really have no human being to talk to about all this, and when I talk to Abba Father I know He’s not ignoring me; it just seems I am deaf to whatever He is saying to me. So, I attempt to keep moving forward, stumbling greatly, and missing the mark much more often than getting anywhere near it. I must go on, I must continue, I must endure to the end. And if I have missed GOD’s purpose for me at least I will do so in faith refusing to quit, and refusing to give up. There is no depth that I can fail to where Abba Father can no longer reach me and set me aright. Praise be to GOD! And praise be unto His Holy Name!

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