Journal Entry: Thursday, June 28, 2018

Thursday, June 28, 2018

(299.0) [288.2] Ahead of last week by a half pound. Not at all pleased. Worked the back fence for about 40-45 minutes and did 100 step-ups this morning. Ate two burritos and a medium-small salad. The drop back down from yesterday’s 300.5 is good. I should be registering at least a one pound drop each week, which is not yet happening. Though a week and a half ago I hit 294.0/ this week I was only down to 295.0. I should have at least made it to 293.0 and stayed below 297.0.

Understanding The Experience During Praise And Worship, Sunday, April 15, 2018, Part 14:

I believe that my asking to be filled with and buried in the coals from the altar of GOD is due to the steep desire to be totally purified–spirit, soul, and body. It is a passionate desire that all iniquity be taken away from me and that all sin be purged from me; from all of me. And not only to be thoroughly cleansed and purged of all sin and iniquity, but that there be no reminders or results of their former presence remaining.

It asking GOD to turn the heat up, and to have the angels fan the flame and heat, and add (pour) incense onto the coals and fire, I believe this reveals an intense and all-encompassing desire to be pure and holy before GOD, and for my life to be a sweet, pleasing, and desirable fragrance to GOD; one that HE LOVES and deeply desires. In seeing such a thing, I must be aware that this may represent walking through things in life that I may NOT enjoy, and even strongly desire to run from. These things will bring to the surface, and expose sin and iniquity in me, even in the slightest part of an attitude, that I to this point am not aware of existing within me. This is a desire and need for The Refiner’s Fire, stoked by the coals of His Altar. In refining metals, often additives are used to help increase the effectiveness of the heat, which when interacting with molten metal causes the metal to, sometimes violently, bubble, roil, and boil. The molten metal becomes violently turbulent as the dregs, the impurities, are forced, and even violently belched and ejected from the molten metal making it more pure. I must understand that this process is what my life may begin to look like as I am purified, becoming a holy and living sacrifice, which in truth is merely my just and reasonable service to our Holy Almighty GOD, or Loving Heavenly Abba Father.

The incense poured onto the coals represents the addition in this process, but the incense added to the fire causes a sweet, pleasing, fragrant aroma. I believe this incense represents moving and living from the very core of my being in a complete love, truth, peace, and humility that has become (will become) seemingly effortless due to the new closeness and communion with GOD, and the maturity and completeness gained by the journey.

I believe that as I was able to join in worship again…with the discomfort of pregnancy fading and the fire feeling cold now…

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