Wednesday, January 3, 2018
(290.5) I expected to start the year below 281.0 and instead I gained from 288.0 to 292.0. I am slowly making a few changes. We shall see if they have a positive affect.
I feel like a failure much of the time. I am supposed to be a son of the LORD GOD Almighty. The witness of my life seems to testify otherwise. Though GOD is always with me I usually feel alone. I set time aside on work mornings to talk to GOD and try to listen, and I ask for dreams and visions at night, but I still feel as though I have almost no connection to GOD.
I was kept for a late run at work yesterday. What is the right way to handle this? Isn’t my life and my family important?
I keep tithing and giving. I have to believe GOD’s WORD is true. My health needs to be better. I keep bringing these things before GOD; it seems I am missing something.
I am concerned that I have started to feel as though I am losing compassion for a lot of people. I want to make a real difference in people’s lives, but how long can I keep at it in seeming failure (in my eyes)? How can I minister healing, deliverance, salvation, blessing, and miracles to others when my life is so lacking in these areas? GOD, please help me.